Author Archives: Delia

Friends and Chocolate

“There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with (some dark) chocolate.”

The little insertion is mine, the rest belongs to Mr. Charles Dickens. 🙂

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Little Women – Louisa May Alcott

After the somehow heavy and oppressive narrative of Burmese Days, I felt the need for something cheerful and while browsing through my to-read pile, came upon this little classic by Louisa May Alcott and decided it would make for a nice change.

The book tells the story of the March family, with a focus on the four sisters: Meg, Jo, Beth and Amy. The setting is New England, Massachusetts, during the Civil War. The March household is a happy one, in spite of the privations they have to endure, as the father is away at war and the mother tries to make sure the girls are taken care of and raised the “proper” way on modest means. The sisters have different temperaments and artistic pursuits: Jo writes, Amy draws, Beth loves music and Meg, oh well, she just wants to be rich.

The story follows the sisters as they are growing up, from their childhood games of improvised theater plays at home (another nod to Charles Dickens – his Pickwick Papers come to attention once again, reminding me of my wish to read more of his work) and to their daily tasks of keeping the house in order, as the family is not rich and they only have one servant, Hannah.

After the first hundred pages or so I thought this book was so nice and proper and sweet it made my mind ache and my motivation to keep reading waned considerably but I kept going and hoped for a little improvement. I gave the book the name The Good Girl’s Bible because it’s full of advice on different subjects, from being good and “loving thy neighbor” to keeping a family happy and helping each other in good times as well as bad. Even the little family “skirmishes” appeared too good natured to be true and I kept hoping for something to liven things up a bit. There was tragedy and heartache but even that did not feel real – it was just too perfect for my taste.

And finally, I got my happy ending.

I knew next to nothing about the author so I read the preface, which was mercifully short, and to my surprise found that Louisa May Alcott did not particularly enjoy writing Little Women, which sprang from a publisher’s suggestion that she write a “girl’s book”.  Isn’t it ironic when a writer’s most famous book is one they didn’t write because they wanted to but rather because it was more in accordance with the times…. Alcott had loosely based the story on her own family, and considered Jo to be more like herself, abrupt, speaking her mind, always reading or writing, running around and not caring much about social obligations and refusing to be forced into what society deemed “proper” for a girl.

I did enjoy reading the letters, as I’m discovering more and more that the epistolary form appeals to me because it gives the story a very personal touch and I like that in a book. Amy writes them from her trip abroad, and Jo does the same and it was easier to read them than the rest of the book – somehow it lent a nice touch of credibility to the story.

In the end I can’t say I disliked this novel, I guess I’m somehow on neutral ground; what I can safely say is that it’s a nice book and it made for a good respite from the tragic atmosphere of Burmese Days.

*read in June 2011

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Burmese Days – George Orwell

This novel can be considered a good companion to The Glass Palace by Amitav Ghosh – they both deal with the British rule in Burma and this would make for a good reason to read them together even if the style varies. Orwell seems to be more focused on the dramatic lives of the characters (as opposed to Amitav Ghosh, whose book is about the story rather than the people), and there’s just enough of them to keep the action going at a nice pace without creating a confusion as to who’s who.

The action takes place in the 1920’s in a Burmese district where a select group of British officials are doing the Empire’s work. We get a good look at what the life there was like for the expats – their attitude towards the Burmese people, their privileged status and the way they spend their time. There are innumerable passages which describe the land and its people and how they perceived the English (“the holy one’s breakfast is ready”), and I was struck, yet again, by how totally different and sometimes bewildering the Asian culture is.

Usually I tend to pick a favorite character from the start and follow his/her adventures, cheering quietly from behind the pages and this time was no exception. My favorite character was Flory, a 35 year old British man who divides his time between his work, the Club, and occasional visits to Indian Dr Veraswami, his friend, where he can vent and talk about what he really thinks of the British Empire and its minions, and the way he feels about his life has struck a chord in me. Such loneliness and despair, such efforts to try and fit in and be happy or at least content! His trouble is that he doesn’t despise the locals – like most of his colleagues. He seems to be the only one who truly understands his position in the country and that only makes it more unbearable. Then Elizabeth arrives, a 22 year old English girl who has come to stay with her relatives and possibly find a husband. Flory sees her as his savior, the one who will bring meaning to his lonely life, and he wants to marry her and almost succeeds if not for a series of unfortunate events that seem to explode around him at the worst possible times.

“Have I made myself at all clear to you? Have you got some picture of the life we live here? The foreignness, the solitude, the melancholy! Foreign trees, foreign flowers, foreign landscapes, foreign faces. It’s all as alien as a different planet. But do you see – and it’s this that I so want you to understand – do you see, it mightn’t be so bad living on a different planet, it might even be the most interesting thing imaginable, if you had even one person to share it with. One person who could see it with eyes something like your own. This country’s been a kind of solitary hell to me – it’s so to most of us – and yet I tell you it could be a paradise if one weren’t alone. Does all this seem quite meaningless?”

This paragraph alone summarizes the book for me – to be so utterly alone, and hope, and have those hopes shattered; to finally realize there’s no escape and coming to this conclusion to do the one desperate, violent act – I felt a kind of despair and an unimaginable sadness, as if I knew him and I thought, if only she would have understood, if only she would have made the effort…if only she was different, if only…

It was not an easy book to read. After I put so much of me into reading “living” the story, I came out weary and a little depressed. I so wanted a happy ending, at least this time, or even a little hint of one, but in a way I was also relieved to see my favorite character had found his peace, at last.

*read in May 2011

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Coldplay

Today I felt really good – I don’t know why exactly – maybe it was the light rain this morning which cooled the stuffy hot humid air a bit, maybe it was the sun who was trying really hard to push the clouds aside, maybe my gym session that really got me going and I nearly started to sing on the elliptical machine (wouldn’t that be something!) or perhaps a new book (by David Sedaris) I got today from a friend . Anyway, that happy mood stayed with me throughout the day and as I was browsing through my favorite videos on youtube, this one’s beat seems to fit nicely with the way I feel. Enjoy!

Coldplay

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Good Advice

 

 

 

 

As seen at the Neilson Hays Library, Bangkok.

I couldn’t agree more. 🙂

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An Oasis

If asked to describe the city I live in I would say it resembles a great beehive, each little chamber like a secret place ensconced in the great construction of concrete, metal and wires. Bangkok is not a city made for walking, even if one is brave enough to fight the heat and slide through the crowded sidewalks, dodging the peddlers and the pots of food without their lids on, the uneven paving in places and the noisy tuk-tuks and motorcycle taxis coming from all sides.

Strangely enough, there was none of that as I arrived at the Neilson Hays Library, located in one of the city’s busiest areas but mercifully enough on a side street that was almost deserted last Sunday morning. The building itself reminded me of the ones at home, in the area we call “the old city”, as it stood white and elegant and so very different from the other constructions I was used to, that it had the air of a familiar oasis in the harsh desert. The poster at the entrance announced “Bangkok Literary Festival” and I thought with a smile that I couldn’t have picked a more perfect day for my first visit.

I made my way inside, to the interior “garden” which was almost entirely occupied by stands of books for sale, and immediately to my right found the entrance to the library building and went in. A feeling of homesickness came over me as I saw the book cabinets crammed full of books, and I walked around for a while, recognizing an author here and there and finding a few interesting new ones whose works looked promising.

Right in the middle of the library there was a space arranged with chairs and a smiling little Asian man was talking about “The Art of Cook Book Writing”. I sat down at the edge of one chair and opened my booklet with the program for the day. The speaker was Ken Hom, a celebrity chef, whose love for food led to several books and a BBC tv series in 1984. The lecture was interesting even if a tiny bit pompous for my taste but enjoyable nevertheless. He spoke about his love for food, the traditional way of presenting it – “food cut up in squares or coming out of tubes is not my thing” (something along those lines – and I couldn’t agree more) and the importance of testing your food several times before you actually commit it to a book. He said another thing that stuck with me – if someone likes one of your recipes you’ve got a fan for life – and I remembered my friend Maggie who introduced me to Christmas cookies last December which ignited in me a passion for baking. 

After the lecture I went into the Rotunda Gallery, a small circular room with paintings on the walls and an inscription right above the door. When I came out another lecture was about to start, and the speaker was a writer whose books I’ve seen in the local bookstores but somehow never felt inclined to buy: Stephen Leather. I spent another few minutes going around the shelves, taking pictures, looking at some of the magazines on the tables, and just enjoying myself.

I left with a pang of regret but also happy that I discovered a nice little refuge in the great hot beehive that is Bangkok, one that I would definitely go back to every now and then.

 

 

 

 

*Click on the photos to enlarge.

 

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Depeche Mode, again

I’m in one of my melancholic moods again and this song appears to match my state of mind. Ever since I started listening to Depeche Mode – a lifetime ago it seems – I’ve listened to their songs whenever I felt sad. They are like a bandage on a wound, they don’t heal it but they help. Whether the lyrics are about pain, love, sex, religion – and the list goes on – they have an almost surreal quality, a perfect blend between sounds and words. Sometimes I sing along and sometimes I just lie in the dark with my eyes closed, letting the song take over the room, invade my thoughts, each note finding its way into my heart, soothing, calming, peaceful. And so does this song:

Love will leave you cold and lonely
Love will lift you up to the sky
Break your heart oh so slowly
And never give a reason why

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On Reading “Drood” by Dan Simmons – Part II

The story continues on its twisted little way through the 1860’s now, and we get to see (as much seeing as a book can provide, which in this case is plenty) how the events unfold. The search for the elusive Drood continues and if not for the frequent mentions of the opium that seems to be a constant companion to Wilkie, it would be hard not to believe every word of the story. The opium provides a good excuse for disbelieving the narrator’s account of those years. Wilkie’s frustration at not being able to describe the way he feels about the use of the drug is very apparent:

“Each week I could see in King Lazaree’s dark-eyed look his absolute knowledge of both my growing divinity and growing frustration at not being able to share my new knowledge via the dead bulk of letters being set down and pushed around on a white page like so many ink-carapaced and quill-prodded beetles.”

Doubts begin to creep in. Does this Drood really exist or is he a made up man conjured by the shaken and traumatized mind of Dickens? He claimed to have first seen the man on the day he was involved in a train accident, an event from which he never fully recovered until his death five years later. He survived without sustaining any apparent physical damage, and so did his companions, a young actress and her mother, whose identities he was most careful to protect. The author sets that event as the starting point of the novel, and also as the event that will change the course of many lives. Drood becomes the enigma in the two friends’ lives, but seems to take over Wilkie’s with a force he can’t seem to resist. It’s no secret that Wilkie and Dickens have a sometimes strained friendship, due to both authors’ inflated egos which leads to many discussions and not all of them pleasant.

Should we forgive Wilkie’s harsh words or should we agree with him? Somehow I felt like I had to take sides and maybe I did from time to time. I felt won over by Dickens’ passion as a performer on his reading tours, by his thirst for life, by the depth of his feelings and sometimes even by his cruelty.

We get to see Drood – the author provides a full description of the man’s lair and of the man himself, his unusual appearance, his speech with the hisssing sssounds of a slithering snake, his rituals and old gods he presumably serves.

The end left me a bit confused, as I was looking forward to find out who this Drood really was. If Dickens’ confession of mesmerism (a subject I found particularly fascinating) was true, if Wilkie’s imagination – fuelled by countless glasses of laudanum and opium dreams – was too much for his own good, who’s to say… The fact that Simmons makes it so that the reader is offered an excuse for this incredible tale makes it all the more believable.

*Read in May 2011

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The End

What is an end but an excuse for a new beginning? The end is like a creaky old door in a drafty old house.  And some doors close quietly, never making a sound or leave a trace of ever having been opened while others refuse to close quietly but make a noise that pierce the silence like a sharp long needle. The beauty of it all is that there’s more than a door in a house that can be opened in the meantime, and even if that doorknob shall gather dust like the hinges collect rust, the door is still there and may one day be opened again. So let it end that it may begin again in other form and other shape and perhaps with even greater force than before.

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Back to Square One

Today I had murderous thoughts going through my head. I remember a friend of mine who had told me more or less the same thing only a few days ago when her personal trainer kept pushing her beyond of what she thought were her limits.

Today I found out exactly what she was trying to say.

***

My “walking plan” was short lived and I was forced to admit, once again, that only a strict exercise plan can help me lose weight. That being said, I went back to the gym. Another gym, one that I used to go to a few years ago. I still remember some of the trainers that still work there. They are all very nice, friendly and helpful. One of them, a girl, gave me a tour of the machines and instructed me as to how many sets and repetitions to do on each. Then she stayed with me and started counting. Remember those murderous thoughts I mentioned? Well, after countless repetitions (at some point I forgot to count but she didn’t) and lots of huffing and puffing and many more thoughts of giving up (I pushed them aside) arms shaking, legs wobbling, I managed to survive my first day back at the gym. Now I have to admit that left to my own devices, I would have taken it slower, much slower, but with the trainer watching my every move there was a slim chance of doing anything else but go through with it all. She was encouraging, smiling all the time, helping every now and then, but not once did she tell me to stop. If I ever decide to hire a personal trainer, I might consider choosing her for the job.

And so, with music from my tiny red mp3 player blasting in my ears and a bottle of water, I start yet again on my road to being fit. I have no idea if this new journey will be a success but what I do know is that I’m not ready to give up yet. Not by a long shot.

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